My Career Journey from small town to Cracking UPSEE

I come from a small town situated in Kanpur Dehat. Since my childhood, I was a bright student and excelled in many fields like drawing, writing, academics, public speaking, dancing and painting. I held always 1st position in my class from class 1 to 12th.My dream was to become a Doctor and then go for UPSC.

When I was in class 10th, I got a new teacher who was an IIT BHU passout.He motivated me to prepare for the IIT-JEE exam.I was good in maths and bio both, hence got confused what to choose.Ultimately, I decided to prepare for JEE and become an engineer instead of doctor.My teacher motivated me so much that cracking JEE became my biggest dream.This thing remain always in my head for 3 years.He asssured me that he will guide me for the preparation.But during the class 11th, he got busy in Boards batches and ignored my JEE classes.This also happened because JEE batch had very few students and boards batch was full of students.

JEE demands mastery in 3 subjects: Physics, Chemistry and Maths.My teacher taught me physics and maths but I was unable to find a good chemistry teacher in such a small town.Still I continued my preparation and gave my first JEE exam- JEE MAINS in january.During this attempt marking scheme changed from marks to percentile.I scored 78 percentile and was confused whether it is good percentile or bad.I was qualified for JEE ADVANCED.I gave the exam but was unable to crack it.

Then I took a drop and went to kanpur (Kakadev) for JEE preparation. In this attempt, I secured 90 percentile in January exam.Then after some time, Covid came and my coachings were shut down due to lockdown.I was back to my hometown but continued studying.After appearing in the September JEE MAINS attempt, I got 93 percentile and was very depressed after seeing this, because I was expecting above 95 since my preparation was much more better.I lost my confidence and thought I cannot clear JEE. After few days, my mother suggested me to focus on JEE ADVANCED exam rather than thinking for it.One month was left for the exam, I prepared for that and gave the exam.These all was happening during the lockdown.Result came and I was not able to crack the exam by 3 marks only.

I cried the whole day and nobody came to see me, because expectations of every person was broken down.I felt completely alone at that time, my life was aimless now, my confidence was shattered and I was very disappointed.I prayed that just give me one more chance for ADVANCED,please give me one more chance and I will clear it.But this was my 2nd attempt and nothing can happen now.This was the ultimate failure for me.I remained sad for many months.

Since, I had also participated in UPSEE exam, I got Bundelkhand institute of engineering and technology college through it.I took addmission there.In my college journey, I got my confidence back gradually by participating in fests, events and building new friendships. And now after being graduated, I got my old me back.The JEE failure was a trauma to me.Now I realised why I failed and the reason was the feeling that I can’t crack the exam which I had after Mains result.But now I am back and will surely achieve something very good in my life. I will prepare for my dream UPSC.I suggest you all please never accept that you can’t do something, before actually doing it.Never give up before the war and believe in yourself, no matter what other say just do your work honestly and you will surely fulfill your dreams !