Top Roasts to Make People Laugh

Here are 35 funny roasts meant to be fun and make people laugh. Keep in mind, roasting is all about having a good time and not hurting anyone’s feelings, so make sure to use them when everyone’s in the mood for a joke:

1. “You’re not the dumbest person in the world, but you better hope they don’t die.”
2. “You’re the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.”
3. “If I wanted to kill myself, I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ.”
4. “You look like something I’d draw with my left hand.”
5. “I’d say you’re ‘one in a million,’ but that means there are 7,800 people just like you.”
6. “You’re not as bad as people say. You’re much, much worse.”
7. “You’re like a software update. When I see you, I think ‘Not now.'”
8. “Some people bring joy wherever they go; you bring joy whenever you go.”
9. “You’re proof that god has a sense of humor.”
10. “I’d explain it to you, but your brain would explode.”
11. “You’re like the first piece of bread; everyone touches you, but nobody wants you.”
12. “You’re like Monday mornings, nobody likes you.”
13. “You’re the reason they put instructions on shampoo.”
14. “You’re not pretty enough to have such an ugly personality.”
15. “You’re like a slinky, not really good for much but bring a smile when pushed down the stairs.”
16. “Mirrors can’t talk. Lucky for you, they can’t laugh either.”
17. “I’d give you a nasty look but you’ve already got one.”
18. “It’s impossible to underestimate you.”
19. “Keep talking; someday you’ll say something intelligent.”
20. “You’re the human equivalent of a participation award.”
21. “You have the perfect face for radio.”
22. “I’d insult you, but nature did a better job.”
23. “You’re so annoying, even autocorrect ignores you.”
24. “You’re like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.”
25. “If you were any more inbred, you’d be a sandwich.”
26. “You’re as useful as the ‘ueue’ in ‘queue’.”
27. “Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick.”
28. “You’re the reason I prefer animals to people.”
29. “You’re like a tornado; you destroy everything you touch.”
30. “You’re about as important as a white crayon.”
31. “You’re like a glow stick. I want to snap you and shake the sense into you.”
32. “You have an entire life to be an idiot. Why not take today off?”
33. “You’re so irrelevant, you could be the ‘Terms and Conditions’ and no one would notice.”
34. “If laziness was a competition, you’d come in second because you’d be too lazy to compete.”
35. “You’re the reason we have warning labels on everything.”

In a world full of laughs and clever words, knowing how to make a great comeback, tell a funny roast, or say a quick joke is really useful. This list of the best comebacks, roasts, and jokes for 2024 is here to help you. Whether you want to make your conversations more fun, have a good reply ready, or just make people laugh, you’ll find something here.

With a mix of clever comebacks, hilarious roasts, and quick jokes, you’ll never run out of things to say. Whether you’re hanging out with friends, at a party, or just having a casual conversation, these lines will help you lighten the mood and show off your sense of humor. So get ready to impress everyone with your witty and entertaining words that are sure to make any moment more enjoyable.